Rich Koslowski: Writer, Artist, Genius
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I'M A YOUTUBE SENSATION!

Well...not exactly. YET! But check this out!...

My good buddy over at Archie Comics, Rik Offenberger, sent me an email last night with the subject header reading..."Saw your trailer on YouTube." Naturally I was puzzled as I am unaware of any trailers on YouTube. I thought he must have come across an old interview or something with me in it. So I open his email and it says simply...

"Cool trailer, any idea what is says in English?" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOvHKRK-pn0

Okay, now I'm really puzzled and proceed to clicking on the address.

WOW! I had no idea what the heck any of it said but it was pretty cool. But midway through I must confess I was wondering who the hell made this thing. I thought maybe some ambitious fan. No clue. Then it ended and I saw the name Gal Editora with an email address and phone number and it clicked! I'd almost completely forgotten that I signed a foreign publishing deal with a Brazilian publisher last Spring. So 2+2 come together and I realize it must be them. So I email them and let them know I really dug the trailer and ask what the status on the Brazilian version of Three Fingers is? Is it out already? To my surprise they write me back immediately and let me know that the book's going to print this week! Cool. And they'll be sending me copies out right away. Very cool.

Here is the incredibly long url for the publisher if you want to check out their site. This is the english translated version. Cuz I care...

http://translate.google.com/translate?hl=en&sl=pt&u=http://hqmaniacs.uol.com.br/principal.asp%3Facao%3Dnoticias%26cod_noticia%3D20227&ei=Fh33ScywB4qgMrn10MAP&sa=X&oi=translate&resnum=2&ct=result&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dtres%2Bdedos%2Bgal%2Beditora%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dsafari%26rls%3Den-us

Interestingly, i was JUST talking with Sandy about putting a trailer like this together for promotional purposes a couple months back.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy it and hope that some of you might even be able to actually read it. I'll get to work on the english version asap!

Word.

R

DO YOU KNOW THE WAY TO (SUPER-CON) SAN JOSE?

Ahhh, Dionne Warwick...just gotta love the woman. Mega hits in the 70s, Solid Gold tv show with those super-hot Solid Gold Dancers (I liked the super-hot sexy brunette one the best!) and, of course, the Psychic Network success!

Anyway, she once asked in one of her mega-hit songs if anyone knew the way to San Jose. Yes, I do. I do know the way, and I will be traveling there in May to attend the SUPER-CON Comic Book Convention! May 16 & 17 to be exact, and I hope to see Dionne there. I was invited as a "Special Guest" to the show this year (Dionne was not). And let me tell you, that does wonders for the fragile ego, folks. Gettin' a little love like that. So as a Special Guest I will be on my best behavior and probably willing to give you loyal readers ridiculously good deals on my books, shirts, and original artwork. It's just my way.

So please haul your sorry arses out to San Jose for the con. Who knows, you might even see Ms. Warwick. My psychic friends say the "chances are good."

"Hey, Rich!...will you be attending any other conventions this year?"

Ha ha ha...Yes, yes of course I will. I'll also be at the grand ole COMIC-CON INTERNATIONAL in San Diego this summer as I always am. I'll be located in artists alley again as I was last year. That show is July 22-26th this summer. I'll also be at WizardWorld, Chicago in artists alley and that show is August 6-9th. And then I'll be at the incomparable Minnesota Fallcon which is usually in October (dates tba). That's what I've got lined up so far. So be there true believers.

In other news...

Softball starts up for me next Wednesday so I'll be seeing if the mesh that's now sewn into my abdomen holds. Keepin' my fingers crossed on that.

Thassit for this week. Short n sweet for all my readers with Attention Deficit Disorder. See, I write for all the people!

Word,

r

I'M GOIN' TO TEXAS!

"Warm winds blowin'...

Heat an' blue sky...

And a road that goes forever...

I'm goin' to Texas!"

Chris Rea, Road To Hell album (buy it! unbelievable album)

Just got back from a 10 day vacation to good ole Austin, Texas. Went down for my cousin's daughter's wedding where Stella was the beautiful flower girl in a dress that mama made for her. Stayed with our good friends Wayne Beamer and his wonderful wife Sandy Travis where they did their very best to uphold the fine southern tradition of hospitality. Not only did Wayne-o act as our own private chaufeur and drive us all around Austin but he also "cowboyed up" when it was time to put on the feed bag!

One week before leaving on our trip Sandy (my wife Sandy not Wayne-o's) and I were up late watching tv and I came across the Travel Channel's Man vs. Food program. I asked Sandy if she'd ever seen it. Nope. I said it was a good show and showcased a lot of restaurants that I myself would love to eat at. So what city do they highlight on this particular episode on this particular night? Yep, you guessed it...Austin, Texas! Serendipity!

So we watched and drooled as the "man" took on the finest cuisines and we also took notes determined to get to at least one of these places they highlighted. And yes we did my friends.

Yes we did.

The Salt Lick. One of the world's most famous barbeque joints that features one of the only open woodfire bbq pits left in Texas (if not the only). You walk into the most amazing smell and the first thing you see is the meat on the pit sizzling and popping away. Instantaneous mouth-watering begins. My stomach actually lurched with anticipation. I was giddy! I was happy! I frantically searched for the waiter to find us a freakin' seat!

We quickly ordered up our food with me and Wayne-o and cousin-in-law Dave ordering the all-you-can-eat option.

The beef brisket is evil. I ate about 1 1/2 pounds of that alone. And as the host of Man vs Food suggested I ordered the "burnt ends" of the brisket where the flavor is at its most concentrated. And just like he did on the show when he bit into it I had "a moment."

Best brisket I've ever had. Period. It made me cry.

The sausage was also outstanding and this is coming from a guy whose dad is a World Champion German Sausage Maker, folks! I ate about 3/4 of a pound of that. Nice smooth smokey flavor. Robust but not overly so. Juicy but not greasy. Very nice.

The ribs were good. Not great but very good. A couple pieces were a little on the dry side but I'm sure they were downgraded in my opinion after being so overwhelmed by the brisket. If I probably only had the ribs not knowing how delicious the brisket was I'd've probably been very pleased.

The BBQ sauce is a family recipe and very unique. It gave the meat a nice carmalized glaze that was a bit sweet, a bit hearty and just a wee bit vinegary almost...but vinegary in a good way, trust me.

We pretty much ignored the filler...the potato salad, cole slaw, bread, etc. I mean really, what's the point? I nibbled on those items just to clear the palate between meats.

Best BBQ experience I ever had. And the severe weather that rolled in almost killed the trip. Man, when Wayne-o gave us the weather report the night before I was bummed. I actually could not get to sleep I was so disappointed. This was to be the highlight of the trip (aside from the wedding of course.) and now he was telling us it might not happen as the roads literally get flooded out during severe rainstorms and become unpassable! But it worked out. We fed. And fed. And fed. I was home. Oh god, here I go...I'm crying again...

The Bat Bridge is also a highlight of Austin. Unreal. 1.5 million bats fly out every night from under a downtown bridge where they nest. You get there with the throngs of other onlookers just before dusk and you wait as you start to hear the chirping get louder and louder. Then you start to see them drop. One by one they start dropping. then dozens. Then hundreds. Then you witness a stream of thousands and thousands of bats just pour out in a line out into the southern sky. And it goes on for 20+ solid minutes! It was one of the coolest things I've ever seen.

Wedding was great. Margaux and Aaron had a beautiful wedding, reception and dinner. Great fun was had by all.

We also got to stay with my older sister Karin up in Chico for a few days before the wedding so getting to visit her and her kids also made the trip an all-around wonderful experience.

And Oh Yeah! If you're ever down in Austin you'll also want to visit AUSTIN BOOKS & COMICS on 5002 N. Lamar Blvd. Owner Brad Bankston has one of the most impressive stores I've ever set foot in. Loaded with comics and one of the largest selections of TPBs and graphic novels I've ever seen. I wish I could have spent hours, nay, DAYS looking through every rack but, alas, time was not on our side. Austin Books & Comics also had a nice selection of my own books. I happily signed up the copies they had, bought a hefty stack of books, and vowed to one day return to that store!

And so we're back in WI. We knew we were officially back when our teeth started rattling. No, not from the cold (although it was cold when we got back), from the friggin' freeway! We have the worst roads in America. Bar none. The whole drive was smooth other than in Wisconsin. And yeah I realize our severe weather fluctuations cause the damage but come on, they're constantly repairing and repaving these damn roads. You'd think by now they'd come up with a better pavement, right? Methinks they have such a pavement but choose not to use it.

And I kid you not, we were but a mile across the border of Illinois and the big orange construction cones started! Yep, they're gearing up for another road construction season. Yippee!! Three years from now they'll be out there on that same stretch repaving it again.

I may be Goin' To Texas again soon. Chris Rea forgot to mention in his song that those roads that go forever were also pretty darn smooth.

Word.

R

FOR THOSE WHO LIKE TO ROCK!!!...

Greetings fellow headbangers!

It is with great delight that I now pimp my bro-in-law's band SPIRAL TRANCE's new cd release, "All In Due Time." Paul's band has been bangin' away for over a decade now and I can't begin to tell you have proud I am with, not only their tenacity, but how they've continued to improve and improve over the years and have become one of the most polished, tight rock bands around. They're so good that Summerfest, the "World's Biggest Music Festival" invites them back every year (for well over 5 years now) to be one of the featured acts on the famous Rock Stage! They've also been nominated and won numerous industry awards. If you dig good old ass-kickin' head-banging rock you will love their stuff.

And right now they've got a Pre-Order promotion running for the new release "All In Due Time" for only $9.99. And they're also offering 2 other packages that include signed posters and their rare 6 song EP. Here's the link which also has some samples of their music... www.ratpakrecordsamerica.com/spiraltrance

In other news...

I am just so tickled that the Yankees and one Mr CC Sabathia lost their first game today. And that Mr Sabathia in particular really STUNK IT UP after his $160,000,000.00 signing. Yep, in case you live on the moon and didn't know, I have the correct amount of zeroes there.

They Yankees continue to make me vomit with their unfair spending sprees and CC cashing in is understandable but, is it just me or doesn't it make everyone sick when these guys never just come out and admit when they're asked why they signed with the Yankees that it was because they dumped sick boatloads of cash in their money-grubbing laps! Come on! Everyone knows that's why you friggin' signed with them. Don't give us the old "It was the right fit for me" "I felt signing with them gave me the best chance to win a championship" blah blah blah...Ya know, just like the steroid cheaters, if they'd just come right out and tell the truth I'd respect them a lot more. Well, at least a little bit anyway. Well, at least for admitting to that one particular thing. I'd still despise them with every fiber of me being.

Okay, thassit for this week. 'S all I got.

Word.

R

LET THE "SLAB MADNESS" END!

Howdy Folks!

I am pleased to announce that issue #3 of 3 in the latest 3 GEEKS mini-series is now available! It'll hit stores this week or next (not completely sure which) and is available NOW @ $2.99 each through the website. I am also going to offer you a discounted 3 pack for $8 S&H included. The "SHROUD OF ALLEN" t-shirts are also available this week. I'll post an image as soon as possible on those but they are available for ordering @ $16.95 each and come in M, L, XL and XXL sizes. They are a light tan (natural) shirt with dark brown silkscreening.

Response was very good on this latest 3 GEEKS installment. Thanks to all for your continued support!

In other news...

BB WOLF AND THE THREE L.P.S is done and just waiting for Top Shelf to announce a release date. Many of their planned 2009 releases have been pushed back until 2010 because of the sagging economy. Sadly, it looks as if that'll be the case with BB WOLF. A lot of people have been asking for updates, wondering if the book is done or not, so there it is. Me and Johnnie are completely bummed about the delay but understand the economics of the decision.

In other news...

I will be attending the "Super-Con" in San Jose next month, May 16-17th. If you're in the San Jose area make sure and check out the con. I hear great things about it.

Other shows I'll be attending this year are COMIC-CON INTERNATIONAL; WIZARDWORLD CHICAGO; MINNESOTA FALLCON and other possible cons will be BALTIMORE COMIC-CON and the second WINDY CITY CON which was the best single day con I ever attended last year--and it was the con's first year which made that fact all the more impressive.

In other news...

Am recovering from hernia surgery this week. Lots of fun. Couple months ago I had a quick, jarring slip on the ice while chucking some garbage. Felt a sharp pain in my groin. Weeks went by with no improvement so I googled WebMD and self-diagnosed myself with a sports hernia. Made an appointment with one of the world's best hernia surgeons who happens to have an office a mere mile from my house! How fortuitous! He diagnosed the hernia in about 46 seconds! And let me tell you that I've never been happier with bad news in my life! Let me explain...

10+ years ago I was in the midst of another grueling deer season at my dad's grocery store. There he does custom processing of wild game, i.e. deer, moose, bear, turkey, etc. Deer season is HUGE here in Wisconsin and we do a very brisk business processing deer every year. I am (was) the main skinner. Still hold the record for skinning the most deer in an hour (13) and the most in a season (386). And this was back when everything was done by hand, no winches. Not bragging, just stating a fact and laying the groundwork for the idiocy that follows. It was one deer season where we were skinning away, knee-deep in corpses and flowing male testosterone that a challenge was made. A friend asked if I thought I could military press another friend. Said friend being Craig Ploetz who weighed in at about 180 pounds. I accepted as I was pumped up with the aforementioned testosterone and an abundance of confidence. And so I grabbed Craig under the armpits, bent slightly at the knees, and hoisted Craig up into the air triumphantly!

The sharp, hot, searing feeling in my lower belly that accompanied the successful lift was unexpected.

A few months went by and the pain subsided.

A few years later it was still there. A low, dull ache in my lower abdomen. So I went to the doctor.

Doctor ran the traditional hernia tests and came up with nothing. Alrighty then.

Couple more years pass and the pain persists. So I make another appointment. Does the same test for a hernia. Nothing. I voice my concerns about cancer. He orders a battery of tests with the Urologists and whatever they call the doctors who make you drink that horrible Barium liquid and then surprise you in the "Barium drinking room" with the little tidbit about having to also insert the barium into your rectum so they can get as thorough a catscan as possible of your entire lower abdomen area. "Wha...?" Insert what where?" was the reaction I believe I gave.

Let me tell you when they stick that little tube into you and then tell you to take a deep breath and expect to feel a bit of pressure...let me tell you it's not as fun as one would hope.

Anyway, after running to the bathroom after that ordeal, then driving home as fast as I could to run to the bathroom at home then returning to same bathroom 20 more times that day, I didn't care what the results were at that point I just wanted to have solid feces again.

Anyway, no hernia, no prostate issues and no cancer. All good news. Except that I still had this undiagnosed pain.

Couple more years go by and I'm moving a couch up a flight of stairs. Same hot flash in the same spot.

Shit.

Wait a few weeks. Call the doctor. Run some tests. Nothing.

Fast forward to present day. I tell my surgeon all of this and, apparently, I had the original tear/hernia, but it healed over enough to avoid detection. Then it happened again same way. Result, the discomfort I felt for the past 10 years. And then I gave her a GOOD one and really ripped open a hole. And it was probably more severe because of the previous 2 tears.

SO hopefully now we've got it repaired and the 10+ year pain will go away.

It was an exciting week. Bathroom trips being the most challenging. The Oxycodone was a good time though. Except the rainy night where I kept waking up thinking/hallucinating that a murderer was creeping around in the room with me. That kind of sucked.

A'ight. That's it for now. Keep it real and stay off the icy patches.

Word.

R

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