Rich Koslowski: Writer, Artist, Genius
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HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Happy Halloween, true believers!

Here at Koslowski Central we had a magnificent time Trick-Or-Treating dressed up as the ADVENTURE TIME cast. Stella was Jake, I was Finn and Sandy was Marceline. Home-made costumes and they really turned out great and were fun to make. Especially since Stella, who had planned on going as Marceline, didn't know that we were secretly making the Jake and Finn costumes at night and while she was in school! What a shock she had when we strolled out in the costumes. Of course (and we expected this) as soon as she saw the Jake costume she wanted to be him (no offense Marceline).

Sadly, walking around in the Jake head was a bit disorienting for poor Stella and we had to cut or T-O-Ting short by about half. Still got a lot of candy, though.

Exciting other news regarding my career as a comic book artist! I have been contracted to illustrate the background art for a new "Motion Comic" titled, TEMPLE." It is a fantastic horror story that Amazon Studios is producing. I'm not sure of the release date yet but I believe we're looking at a major launch for Comic-Con 2012. I will, of course, keep you posted.

And!...I just received my copies of the ZOMBIES VS CHEERLEADERS VOL 1 trade paperback! This collects not only my terrific 3 GEEKS story and cover art but over a hundred other hilariously gruesome stories and cover art. I'll have TPs available on the site soon but in the meantime look for them at your local comic shop.

Been trying to maintain our interest in THE WALKING DEAD but it's so damned downbeat we're struggling to continue liking it. You gotta give these poor bastards the occasional victory, writers! Yeah, we know...end of the world. Apocalypse. Yes. But they still need a slice of happiness here and there. And for cripes sake are there the obvious story holes! Why in the HELL would they still be driving around in that piece-of-crap RV when there must be thousands of abandoned RV dealers across the country that they could simply take a new one??? Or a band of Hummers??? Or Military vehicles??? And they have two, TWO, cops in their ranks. Um, don't you think everyone would have a friggin' walkie-talkie so they'd always be able to communicate? Don't get me started. LOT of story holes.

And we really, really wanted to like AMERICAN HORROR STORY but we gave up after three episodes. Too weird. And we like weird, but not when it's just for the sake of being weird. The characters don't ring true and just how much super, horrible bad stuff can we really be expected to believe can happen to one poor family so quickly and in such volume? Seriously. There is a fantastic quote that goes something like this..."It is easier to make the viewers believe the impossible, than the improbable." I can suspend my disbelief that a "man can fly" in a movie but I'm not going to swallow "twenty murders happen in this house; crazy maid basically gives herself a job the owners can't afford to pay for in the first place; they don't change the locks even after crazy girl next door keeps getting into house (and her klepto mother); Freddy Krueger-like guy always chasing husband while jogging in a suit; and so on..."

Really wanted and needed a good horror genre show to get into but it ain't happenin'. Was going to check out GRIMM or ONCE UPON A TIME but the reviews haven't exactly been enticing us on those either.

Maybe next year, right?

I GOT NUTHIN'!

I got nuthin...

It occurred to me today that I hadn't blogged in awhile. Then it occurred to me that I had a lot to chime in on about but nothing that anyone would probably want to hear. Or that it might offend. And these days I just can't afford to offend anyone. Y'know, burning bridges and all...so i shall refrain from blogging anything too controversial.

Okay, like, for instance I could've chimed in on something like this...

Glad Gadaffi got whacked today. Yep, some of you would cringe and say, "No one...no human being should be executed. No one has the right to––" where I would then cut you off in my mind and say "Shut up. Screw you. He was evil scum breathing good human's air. A cancer, and what do we do with cancer?...we cut it out!" So there. See, if I were to have blogged this I probably would've pissed some of you off.

Or...

My Brewers lost in the NLCS to the Cardinals. Sucks. I am sick of the small market teams having almost NO chance of ever winning a World series in today's economic set up in pro baseball. To which 20+ million NY Yankees fans will actually argue "that they're playing within the rules and doing nothing wrong. It's fair." To which I would then say, "Suck it! You're a-holes and you know it." See, I win, obviously, but those comments could potentially offend.

Or pose a question like the following...

"Why in the HELL does Hollywood keep paying Adam Sandler sick amounts of money to shit out the crappiest movies ever made? And WHY IN THE HELL DO SO MANY IDIOT PEOPLE KEEP PAYING GOOD MONEY TO GO SEE THEM?" I might have blogged that question after seeing the latest trailer for his latest movie Jack and Jill where he plays a set of twins; a man and his sister. It (of course) looks absolutely asinine (as do all his movies) and yet it will go on to make all kinds of money as the sheep pay to see it.

See, if I were to actually voice this opinion it could offend some of our population with lower IQs and I wouldn't want to be perceived as being insensitive to the mentally challenged. So I won't blog about how I think all of Adam Sandler's movies suck.

Nor will I rag more about how the Chinese are effed up beyond repair after seeing the disgusting video of a 2-year-old girl being run over (twice) within 8 minutes and how dozens of passersby saw, yet chose to ignore her as she lay there in the street dying. No, I shall refrain from condemning these apathetic monsters because some of you will, no doubt, stand up for them and blame the government (theirs or ours). To which I would probably say something like, "I hope your next trip is to China and you get run over."

Nope, not gonna rant about these things that have been nagging at me lately.

Like I said in the title, "I got nuthin'" to say today so I shall refrain.

word.

R

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