Rich Koslowski: Writer, Artist, Genius
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THIS AND THAT

Hello. Yes it took me several days to get over the Packer's loss. Ten days in bed just eating Bon Bons can be very therapeutic. Sigh...I hate to say this but Brett looked old and cold in that game. And I say that with all sincerity not taking anything away from the guy. Let's face it...when you're 25 you can deal with that type of weather a lot better than when you're 38. Eli Manning did not look cold, Brett Favre did. Bottom line. And when the game moved into the second half Brett looked twice as cold. And the Packer's nosedived. It's really a minor miracle they were in it at all the second half and somehow managed to survive into overtime. And, well, we won't talk about the overtime.

And...

Went and saw the movie Cloverfield the night it came out with my geek buddy, Jim Droese. From what I understand people are polarized on this film either loving it or hating it. I fall into the former category. Absolutely thought it was brilliant! Jim agreed and Sandy agreed three nights later when I took her to see it. The gripes I've been hearing from the "Hated it" camp seem to be of the "they didn't explain enough, though" variety. i.e. "I have zero imagination and am incapable of filling in the blanks which aren't really essential to the movie."

This movie is a ride folks! One helluva fantastic one, too. You get on and you're on the edge of your seat until it's over. Do you get all the questions answered? No. Do they need to be? ABSOLUTELY NOT! The movie's not about, "Where did the monster come from? Did it die in the end? Why was it here?" It was about a group of friends being caught up in a nightmare and trying to survive. They didn't know any of those answers and since the film's being shot from THEIR perspective why would they? HOW COULD THEY?! If you saw this movie and fail to realize and appreciate the unique perspective well, then, I simply cannot help you.

And...

Things are moving along quite swimmingly on the new graphic novel "BB Wolf & The 3 L.P.s." Contracts are signed with Top Shelf, Johnnie (the writer) has Tony Guaraldi (the letterer) moving along on the lettering, and we're already pimping it to the book trade market which one has to do 6-8 months in advance these days. So our work is faaarrr from over but the bulk of the creative part's all finito. So good news there. You'll note one of the pages above!

And...

Had a few foreign market deals signed recently on both THREE FINGERS and THE KING. The Dutch version of THE KING came out recently I guess. Still haven't seen the darn thing yet but am excited nonetheless. And recently signed a deal with a Brazilian pub and an Italian one for THREE FINGERS (I think the Italian one was for 3F anyway). Very cool. My books are being published in different countries. This is a pretty cool thing. I know MY high beams are on!

And...

Am wrapping up my writing chores on my MARVEL COMICS PRESENTS 12 issue run this week! Hopefully this springboards me to bigger and better things with Marvel and/or some of the other comics companies. If you get a chance write Marvel and tell them I'm the greatest thing since the Pamela Anderson/ Tommy Lee video. Thanks.

So what's next?...

Well, first I have to figure out why I have this debilitating pain in the heels of both my friggin' feet! Which really rather sucks cuz as my big pal, Big Tim can attest I been nuttin' but the wackest shiznit on the flo' dis yeah! Da rock bin goin' in da ho' fo' me like all geddup of late and da boards I bin a crashin'!!! (That's my hip cool lingo for "I've been playing some rather splendid basketball this past year and contributing in a very positive manner by scoring the ball well and exerting great effort in obtaining numerous rebounds." Remember?...I'm very hip with my lingo. Very current.)

And career-wise I have a few things I'm working on. First and foremost I've had an autobiographical book planned detailing my life as a "struggling artist"...sounds like a hoot, hey? Actually I think it will garner the occasional chuckle whilst being peppered with an occasional tear. Basically it'll be like spending a few days with me...an emotional tour de force where you can't help but fall hopelessly and helplessly in love with me. This happens quite a bit.

And I've also been sitting on my very own super-hero thing for a couple years which needs to be, NAY, DEMANDS to be published as soon as humanly possible. It's just so damn good I would literally be punishing the world not publishing it! Hell, I HAVE been punishing the world these past 2 years as it's sat here waiting and you didn't even know it! How friggin' horrible is that?!!!

I am so sorry. It will see fruition soon. I promise.

There's a few other odds and ends going on but nothing too significant at this moment. I'll keep you posted should anything monumental occur.

Word!

R

MCP #5 IS IN THE HIZZOUSE!

I really can't believe how cool I am! Did you see the header for this column? Pretty hip, hey? I've got the lingo down, brutha! I am THAT cool.

Quick little announcement today...

MARVEL COMICS PRESENTS #5 has hit the stands! This is the 5th installment of 12 that I'm writing in the new Marvel Comics Presents series by Marvel Comics. In this chapter the shiznit (me being hip again) really starts hitting the fan. So buy hard and buy heavy! As with all my other properties this series is BOUND to be worth millions of dead presidents some day! "Dead Presidents" is (for those unhipster doofuses out there) more cool lingo for money...dollars!

And in other news...

The Green Bay Packers take on the New York Giants today in the NFC Championship game. Pretty cool. Especially considering that virtually no one gave the Pack a chance in Hell of even winning their own division this year. Not even Brett Lorenzo! And now they're one friggin' game away from the SuperBowl! And this miraculous season has been no fluke. They didn't luck their way in...there wasn't a few of those kooky games where the ball just kind of fell into their hands and they pulled the game outta their collectives arses (think Bears a few years back). They won 13 games in the regular season and won each of those games decisively. They are a fluid, polished, hungry, well-balanced and very well-led team. Led not only by Brett Lorenzo (I just love using that cool middle name) on the field but by who I think should've been named coach of the year, Mike McCarthy, over there on the sidelines. This is the youngest team in the league and McCarthy has managed, in just 2 years as head coach, of getting them to the NFC Championship game. Not too shabby.

And speaking as a brilliant strategist myself I can't help but notice glaring differences in his coaching ability as compared to our previous coach, Mike Sherman...or Coach Blah Blah as most Packer fans know him. McCarthy has demonstrated a lot more creativity in his play calling and has also demonstrated the ability to make the "Big Call" whereas Sherman never seemed to be able to (remember 4th and 26?). Last week alone, where he stayed with Ryan Grant after 2 fumbles in the first 4 minutes and stayed with his gameplan, demonstrated intestinal fortitude that most coaches just do not have.

Bottom line: I like the Packers chances today. Even in sub-zero weather and even though the Giants are on an unbelievable roll right now. I give the Pack a 65% of winning. I'm going to say the Packers win in a low-scoring, running back dominated game with a 17-10 final score.

Then it's onto the SuperBowl. And whatever happens there is just gravy! Win or lose just getting there this year when nobody expected much of anything from this team will be a pretty darn cool thing.

Word.

R

THE KING IS SERIALIZED!

Howdy. Some fairly cool news today regarding my graphic novel THE KING. A prominent UK website http://www.thefirstpost.co.uk/ has been serializing graphic novels for awhile and have recently (today as a-matter-of-fact) started posting my very own graphic novel, THE KING! They'll be posting/serializing the book in 8-9 page chunks over the course of the next couple weeks until they hit page 157 (And it looks friggin' SWEET posted there. Sometimes the resolution on these sites stinks but they've got it looking fantastic! The line quality and coloring (done by my lil bud, Adam "Scrot" Wallenta) look top-notch! It's true!). Then, if their readers dig what they're reading they gotta go out and get the book to finish the story. Pretty cool, hey? And my little story's rubbing shoulders on that site with some other pretty cool stories...Joe Matt's "The Poor Bastard" is up there; "Maakies" by Tony Millionaire; and a slew of others.

So GO...check out just how cool and popular I am. We're talking international here, man! IN-TER-NAT-IONAL!!!

I'm a goldurned star.

And then, of course, go to my site and order a boatload of THE KING graphic novels of your very own. We've still got first printings you know. They will be worth millions one day. You simply DO NOT want to be in that vomitous situation some day where you're saying to yourself, "Uhhhn...and-and I could've got a copy back in 2008 when it was COVER PRICE! Signed by the author yet!...N-now the thing's worth millions...sob...MILLIONS!" as you hold the razor to your wrist.

Don't be mad at me when that day comes...not my fault...I warned you.

Here's that address again http://www.thefirstpost.co.uk/

Word.

R

NEW BOOK CONTRACT!

Hi-de-ho true believers!

Exciting news from the frozen tundra on two fronts--first and foremost the Packers rallied back strong after spotting the Seahawks 14 points in the first couple minutes of Saturday's playoff game and absolutely dominated in a 42-20 victory. I assume most everybody knows this as I write it and am telling you nothing new. But I have to say that, personally, that was the single most weird, bizarre, entertaining and satisfying football game I've ever witnessed. Especially after the first couple minutes and my wanting to turn the car around and head back home instead of going to the party we were heading towards. I can't believe they not only stuck with Ryan Grant who coughed the ball up twice in those first couple minutes, thereby spotting the other team 2 touchdowns, but that they also managed to maintain their collective poise and proceed to play the most inspired, well-designed, efficient football I've ever seen!!! This game was truly remarkable and inspiring. And how utterly ballsy and genius to keep Grant going! And the cat could not have redeemed himself better after the 2 fumbles could he? 201 yards rushing and 3 touchdowns?! Are you friggin' kidding me?!!!

Again, greatest game I've ever seen.

Ha ha ha on the Cowboys demise. Hate TO and couldn't be happier.

On to different news!...

I'm thrilled to report that after one year of very hard but happy effort I have completed the art for "BB Wolf & the 3 L.P.s" graphic novel written by my pal, Johnnie Arnold! AND we've signed a contract with Top Shelf Productions to publish it all in the same week! Now the promotion machine starts up as we begin to pimp the heck out of it leading up to a big 2009 release.

Yeah, I know...2009??? Waht the hizzel, you ask? Yep, in this day and age you gotta get all your ducks in a row before printing the books. You need a huge lead-in for the book trade, i.e. if you want to get the sucker into the major book chains like Barnes & Noble you have to get it into their catalogues 6-8 months in advance.

Thusly and therefore look for it in 2009, folks. But I can guarantee you this...it'll be well worth the wait. I've never done better artwork and couldn't be prouder of the end result. Enclosed is one of the last 10 pages.

Let me tell you...finishing up a major job like BB leaves one with mixed feelings. There's the satisfaction and joy of having done a job well, sure. But there's also a weird sense of emptiness. Johnnie related to me yesterday that he felt the same way and was a wee bit perplexed by it. I told him I always experience the same thing. You invest yourself so much in these endeavors both time-wise and emotionally that when you finally reach the end of that veeerrry long marathon race you're completely out of sorts. You're a friggin' wreck! And a large part of the reason is that it's not really over. Your done with the physical work of producing the art but now you gotta sell the sucker! And, oh yeah, get it signed by a publisher, printed, marketed, solicited, distributed, and then shlep it around the country to all the shows.

And then decide what project you're going to start next.

Basically it never really ends. Hence the mixed feelings I guess. It's never really over.

Word!

R

BRETT FAVRE AND ME!

Hey kids. The holidays are (mercifully) over and it's back to work for this poor bastard.

I made an interesting observation over the holidays, however, that in the past 15 years I had previously been remiss in noticing! As some of you may know the Green Bay Packers and their Hall-Of-Fame quarterback--one Mr. Brett Lorenzo Favre (rhymes with carve for those who are wondering)--have been doing exceptionally well this season. In fact, they have exceeded everyone and anyone's expectations--including their own team members, including Brett Lorenzo. I admit that I had them finishing 7 and 9 at best!

Anyways, the thing that I noticed that I previously had missed was the striking similarities between Brett Lorenzo's charmed life and my own! It's really uncanny! See if you agree...here we go...

1) Both fine looking individuals.

2) Tall in stature.

3) Terrific physiques.

4) Obviously gifted with athletic ability.

5) Charming as all Hell.

6) Similar age-wise.

7) Both have a propensity to acquire, formulate and pass large quantities of gas (i.e. we both toot a lot).

8) Both married fine looking ladies.

9) Both DESERVE fine looking ladies.

10) Both adored by legions of fans (just a slight discrepancy in the number of fans we each have).

11) Both took a shine to Vicodan (albeit he enjoyed his stint on the "don't care" pill a wee bit longer than me).

12) And we both wore braces at one time (although I had mine when I was 12 not 25).

The only dissimilarities seem to be...

1) The accent.

2) The love for mowing the grass (he loves, I do not).

3) And lastly, our vocations. Of which he has done exceedingly well, achieved the heights of success even the biggest of dreamers could never possibly conceive of, reached the seemingly impossible pinnacle of achievement and success and then leapt high off of it and miraculously seemed to touch the very hand of God himself and was lifted yet even higher to even more glorious and marvelous heights heretofore thought impossible even by God Himself (or Herself don't want to offend any of the ladies), and did so with the humility of the most common and gracious of men, all the while amassing and surpassing just about every important quarterback--and football player for that matter--record there ever was and possibly ever will be, and while doing all that reaping the most lavish of rewards and praise along the way, the least of which millions and millions and millions of dollars in player contract and endorsement deals!

While I, on the other hand, have not.

So, as you can clearly see...aside from those 3 small differences we're very much alike.

Word.

R

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